


Failing To See The Problem

by Filigree



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Female Loki, Fluffy, M/M, Shapeshifter Loki, Tony doesn't actually care, culturally homophobic Thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-13 05:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filigree/pseuds/Filigree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki's shapeshifting abilities are revealed. Tony doesn't care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Failing To See The Problem

**Author's Note:**

> This short piece of silly fluff was inspired by several other ongoing or complete fics in which Loki sneaks around as a woman, and interacts with various Avengers. I thought I'd write one that bypasses the usual angst and misunderstandings.

The door to Fury’s office slammed open. Thor hauled his brother by the arm, jolting to a halt in front of the S.H.I.E.L.D. Director’s desk. On the other side of the room, the rest of the Avengers stared at the spectacle of a sheepish and rather mussed Loki obviously just dragged out of bed.

“Friend Fury! Have you gathered my shieldbrothers and sisters?”

“I have. You said it was urgent. What the fuck is going on?” Veins were already popping on Fury’s forehead, but that might have been the natural reaction to having his office commandeered for an emergency meeting by Captain America, Bruce Banner, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, and one Darcy Lewis.

“Friends, I have just this morn seen evidence of my brother’s continued perfidy and mischief against one of our number, and I must make it right!”

“Thor,” Loki rasped in a pained whisper. “You are not my brother. We are all adults here. My probation is nearly over, and I am free to dally with whomever I choose…”

“Oh, dear,” said Darcy. “I knew this was going south sometime.”

Banner made a faint sniffing sound. His eyes flashed Hulk-green for a moment. Then he started laughing under his breath.

“You know what’s going on?” Barton asked Romanov, who merely looked at her fingernails with a neutral expression.

“Mint green pajama bottoms and a coffee T-shirt from Think Geek,” drawled Tony Stark. “I commend your taste, Rudolph.” Then he stared more closely at the caffeine molecule printed on the shirt. There was a scorch mark above the diagram. “Um.”

Thor shook Loki’s shoulder again. “You are my brother in all ways that matter. You are not free to dally under false pretenses! I will not have you breaking the hearts of my shieldmates for your own shallow amusement!”

“Shallow?” Loki’s voice rose to nearly a screech. “I did not plan this! I would never have planned this. It just happened.”

“How many times, Loki? Once, I could accept as a lark and bad judgment. How many times?”

Loki blushed. “Four.”

“Um,” said Tony again.

Fury put his head in his hands. “Once more, and before I throw all of you out into the street, what the fuck is going on?”

With a disgusted look, Thor shoved Loki away from him. “My brother is an accomplished shapeshifter. Of old, it was his custom to wander Asgard and the other Realms in different forms. One of these, I know well from Loki’s torments of mine own Warriors Three and the Lady Sif.”

“Fandral brought it on himself,” said Loki.

“…So you can be certain of my amazement when the Lady Darcy showed me images last night of the Man of Iron dancing with a beautiful woman. Or upon learning that the fame-seekers of this land have documented Anthony Stark in company with this stranger several times over the last few weeks. I knew her immediately to be my brother in female guise.”

“What?” said Captain America, still processing.

“Ooops,” said Darcy, grinning.

“It is no mere guise, Thor,” said Loki, putting his chin up and shoulders back. “The change goes down to genetic levels.” The tall, lanky man shimmered. His frame shortened a scant inch, and filled out intriguingly in certain areas. His sharply-carved face softened. The long black hair and emerald eyes remained the same. A husky contralto voice offered hesitantly, “I am still Loki. But this way I could escape S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers for a few brief hours, enjoy this mighty city, and not risk being accosted by someone still angry at my unwilling part in the Chitauri invasion.”

“You had help.” Fury raised his head. He wasn’t immune from staring a little too long at the woman in pajamas and T-shirt.

“Guilty,” said Darcy, raising her hand. “Poor guy was going stir-crazy under all your rules. When I found out what a total babe he can become, I figured it would be worth a girls’ night out just to blow off steam.” She glared at Loki. “I didn’t expect to run into Tony Stark at the second club. Or you hooking up with him that night. The other paparazzi photos took me by surprise, too. Bad girl.”

“Lily?” Tony said, easing forward to within touching distance of the woman. Even barefoot, she still looked down on Stark. “That’s my shirt. You stole my shirt. Why did you steal my shirt?”

“It smelled like you,” she said, and blushed again. “I did not start by meaning to deceive you for so long. But you are intelligent, charming, handsome, and kind. I liked spending time with you. I was afraid to reveal myself."

“See?” Thor asked the room in general. “There is no end to Loki’s mischief, even when he means well. If his actions have violated his penance toward Midgard, I will make haste to bring him back to Asgard.”

“Hold up, Point Break!” Tony whirled and placed himself between Loki and the rest of the room. “Nicky baby, did the Princess here actually violate any terms of probation? She was out with Darcy, then she was out with me. So she wasn’t technically away from supervision.”

“Wait for it,” Romanov murmured to Barton. “This is going to be good.”

“Stark,” Nick Fury began. “Oh, fuck it all. Did anybody die, Thor?”

“No. But –”

“And the only person really wronged in all this mess is Stark?”

“Yes!”

“Stark, do you feel wronged or cheated in any way?”

“How long, precisely, have you liked me?” Tony asked, looking over his shoulder at Loki.

Barton made a rude noise. “What is this, sixth grade?”

“My mind was not right during the invasion,” Loki whispered. “But I had enough free will to notice you in your tower, and think ‘here is such a one I could love fiercely, if I but knew he could love me…”

“And then you threw him out the window!” Thor yelled.

“Course of true love, I’m afraid. I don’t feel particularly wronged at the moment,” said Tony Stark. He gave them all a wicked grin, as he backed closer to Loki.  “Let me get this right. My incredibly brilliant, snarky, and beautiful mystery girlfriend Lily is also the incredibly brilliant, snarky, and beautiful demigod Loki? Master of Magic and Mischief? I’m failing to see the problem here. It just means I don’t have to cheat, or get into an awkward threesome. Best of all worlds, really. Right, babe?”

“Oh, Tony.” Loki, who had been looking increasingly worried, suddenly relaxed and laid a gentle hand on Stark’s shoulder. “You really don’t care?”

“How about you, me, and lunch at the tower? I’ll show you how little I care what body you’re wandering around in. Girl-Lily is really hot. So is Loki. I’ll admit, I’ve been halfway plotting how to trip *him*. Lily made me feel guilty, can you believe it?”

“Anthony! You would willingly lie with a man –”

“Thor, stop right there.” Stark’s voice snapped in command. “You are failing to understand some things about advanced cultures here on ‘Midgard’. Smart people don’t believe in that shit anymore. Be glad you didn’t meet me in the eighties when my standards were lower. Now if you don’t mind, I have a girlfriend to feed, and a boyfriend to seduce. Iron Man’s going to be busy for the next, oh, forty-eight hours, so don’t bother to call unless the world is actually ending.” He turned, bent at the waist, and reached out. It was the only warning before he stood up with a surprised woman in his arms. “Care to provide taxi service, darling?”

She grinned down at him, and laced her arms around his broad shoulders. The honed muscles bunched under his elegant suit. “My Mastersmith,” she purred. The pair disappeared in a whirlwind of green-golden sparks.

“Brother!” Thor growled, before Darcy tapped her taser meaningfully against his arm.

“Down, boy. You heard ‘em. Everyone’s a grown-up here.”

“Debatable,” said Romanov, catching Banner’s eye with a smirk.

“Fuck me sideways,” said Barton. “Tony Stark and Loki? In what universe is that good news for anyone?”

Captain America cleared his throat. “It’s none of our business, and it could be a good thing. Loki has shown considerable efforts at redeeming himself. Tony’s been more stable over the last month than any time since Miss Potts left him. I’d say give them room. Play our cards right, and Loki could be an incredible asset.”

Barton sniffed. “You say that now. Wait until they take over the world…”


End file.
